I'm Back

Sitting at the ballfield in 100 degree heat (heat index of 115 if you must know) caused me to do alot of thinking and reflecting (or one could call it delirium). Thank goodness there were ambulances in the park for those overcome by the heat. I felt especially bad for the umpires who worked in their usual uniforms game, after game, after game.

I took stock of where I was and where I need to be. First of all physically, my core is weak. My back spasms are a firm indication of neglect. As I splattered my back with IcyHot, the smell reminded me of days when I'd rub the cream on my muscles because they were sore from working out. Now I'm using it just to walk. I need to make some adjustments there.

My mental state is a bit jumbled. There are too many mudane tasks are getting in the way of what I really want to accomplish. I just need to get them done and move on.

I am participating in a Round Table Interview with several other KIC authors: Michelle Miles, Devon Ellington, Mark Orr, Angela Miller and Colin Galbraith. I had to really ponder my answers to the questions posed by the interviewer and I didn't like my responses. I need to work on improvement plans for those areas.

I understand that 2005 is a working year for me. I worked hard over the past seven months - but not as hard as I could have. I'm on track to finish the serial by mid-August and the novel by the end of the year. I've failed with my GDR's but succeeded in not neglecting family or home to keep on track.

Regarding the serial: I have 10,298 words left to go or 5 issues. I thought I could use parts of the short story which spawned the serial, but my character has outgrown himself a bit. I will use what I can. I sent the editor a note telling her that the serial will end at issue 99. It is almost over.

The characters from my current novel are chatting again. I'm glad because I've missed them. If you haven't already checked it out, part of Chapter 1 of Strange Fruit is featured at Wildchild Publishing this month. The second part of Chapter 1 will be featured in their August issue.

BK

NSA World Series

. . . has consumed my life. But I shall return.

BK

My Life Got Away From Me

Today's horoscope: A little crisis creates stormy emotional seas and impassioned waves of feelings that can rock your little boat. Don't worry, Libra, for you are safer than you realize. It's merely your fear that can sink your ship. For now, practice deep breathing, gentle walking and moderate expression. Dispel your worries and you will be safe.

Wow, what a week! Between hubby being out of town, yard work, laundry, the garden and the kids' activities, I haven't had much time to even think. Last week was a bust with writing but I'm not as far behind as I thought because all of my subscribers didn't renew until late. Thank goodness.

This morning I polished issue 93 of the serial and I have issue 94 handwritten. I plan to get this one completed also.

More later . . .

Time For Clarity

"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act." ~ George Orwell (1903-1950)

Strange Fruit, is the featured fiction at Wildchild Publishing. I'm really proud of this one.

Today I must draft out issues 93 and 94 of the serial. There is no trying, I will sit my butt in the chair and write.

Lies - I should be able to detect them. After all I write them don't I? But there everywhere and society doesn't question them or pay them much mind at all. But we should and we should be mad as hell when we are lied to. Why aren't we? Do we even care? I do.

Hubby and B1 have been gone since Sunday and they are coming home today. Unfortunately, I'll be across town at B3's scrimmage game and B2 will be at practice.

B2 will NOT be returning to her softball team for the fall season. There are times when one needs to move on and this is one of those times. Let them wallow in their own misery. I'm done - finished - BUH BYE.

Instead of writing, I took last night for some deep meditation, self realization and concentrated on my goals. Even though I was up past midnight, I feel more refreshed and energized today than I have for the past few days.

I know I'm being played by another and now that it is clear, it cannot affect me anymore. What I have is mine and I will not allow someone who needs PAXIL to get through the day destroy it.

I'm cutting my losses and separating myself from the deception. I'm thankful and a bit humbled that I managed to see through the veil of treachery disguised as friendship so easily. She really needs to master her craft if this is the life-path she's chosen. Perhaps her skill is more refined with men than women. It is pitiful really as she has no life of her own - only her husband's (poor sap) and her daughter.

BK

Drowning in Softball Hell

Why do I even effing bother to be upfront and honest? It always gets twisted and somehow I come out looking like a bitch. I thought I was doing the right thing. I told B2's softball coach that she was going to try out for two other softball teams for the Fall 2005 season. I thought he should hear it from me instead of hearing it through the softball gossip chain and would appreciate the heads up.

Well, it backfired! Bigtime!

But I'll get through it as I always do, with grace and poise by just sticking to the facts.

To make matters worse, I got the call at 10:30 last night just as my muse was in full swing. The words were coming as fast as I could write and I was really making progess. Then the phone rang with news of a parent meeting. My muse fled as if her ass was lit on fire, leaving me to stew in my anger alone.

It's not worth it. It's really not.

I'll go to their meeting as I have done nothing to any of those people. Hell, I'm barely around them. I not scared but I'm not going to take their shit either. It's girls softball for heaven's sake. Where's the fun?

What a bunch of dumbasses!

BK

What Country Am I . . . . Well

You're Malta!
With a strange attraction to crosses and falcons, you are one of the most mysterious and unknown people in your group of friends, your community, or pretty much any category you want to mention. You keep to yourself, but see yourself as a knight in shining armor, ready to rescue people if they weren't so far away. Still, people are fascinated by you if they've heard of you, which most of them haven't.


Take the Country'>http://bluepyramid.org/ia/cquiz.htm">Country Quiz at the blue/'>http://bluepyramid.org">Blue Pyramid

I'm Spread Too Thin

Tonight, I'll be taking a legal pad to the screened in portion of the deck, light some candles and write until my hand can no longer hold a pencil. It's been one of those days.

First of all, information falls into my lap and in my naive generosity, I share it with a few people who I feel would benefit from it. Now I feel it will all blow up in my face. I feel as though I'm playing the game "Survivor" complete with backbiting and secret strategic alliances. When will I learn that people (even those who act like your friend) lie and manipulate to get what they want?

I took six kids to Carowinds and I'm exhausted. Nine-thirty is bedtime and ME-time.

Until tomorrow . . . .

BK

What Book Am I?

I normally don't post these UNLESS I like the results:

You're To Kill a Mockingbird!
by Harper Lee
Perceived as a revolutionary and groundbreaking person, you havechanged the minds of many people. While questioning the authority around you, you'vealso taken a significant amount of flack. But you've had the admirable guts topersevere. There's a weird guy in the neighborhood using dubious means to protect you,but you're pretty sure it's worth it in the end. In the end, it remains unclear to youwhether finches and mockingbirds get along in real life.


Take the Book Quiz,
at the Blue Pyramid.

A Breakthrough

I finally finished issue 92 of the serial today and I only have seven issues to go (~13,805 words). The best part about it is, I have the next five or so issue already done except for a bit of tweaking as the whole idea for the serial evolved from a short story I wrote a while back.

I hope to get issue 93 drafted out over the weekend. I am so excited. I also sent two parenting essay submissions for consideration in a Parenting Anthology. It would be so nice to get accepted and paid for my writing.

I've also had a breakthrough on a personal note. I never realized how many layers I carried - emotional and mental. Wow, it was a heavy load. To make a long story short, I let them go - to where I don't know and for how long, I cannot tell.

The feeling of rawness and liberation is breaktaking at first and it took awhile to get used to. But despite vulnerability, I never want to shut myself off from those I love again.

Have a great weekend.

BK

To My British Friends

Rain has been falling from the sky in solid sheets for about an hour now - appropriate for today I suppose.

My heart goes out to the beautiful people in London and all over the UK. While the pictures at the BBC online are gripping, if I look close enough at them, I see an unwavering strength so eloquently captured by the photographer and so typical of our British comrades.

It is a dangerous world today. I suppose every generation says that the world is getting more dangerous, but the statement has never been more true than it is today. Thirty seven innocent lives where taken today just because someone wanted to make a point. But what point? That they are cold-blooded murderers? That they're so strong they can send one of their own to die as a martyr, leaving senseless suffering, death and destruction in their path? They are weak and cowardly as they kill and mame from the shadows.

All of your hate will never cause me to relent to your savagery and bloodthirsty revolution.

Before I forget

Congratulations to the Charlotte Blaze 8U. They won the North Carolina NSA Championship and are now off to play with the big dogs at the SEAA World Series in Pigeon Forge Tennessee.

B3 is in the bottom row, second from the left.

Tales of the 4th

I do have a few more holiday ramblings with the family before I move on. First of all family - why is it that there is always one sibling who eats all the food, drinks all the beer and never chips in a dime? Okay, I'm over it.

My dear sister brought home about sixty hot dogs, cole slaw and buns, along with some exceptional hot dog chili made locally in a few counties over. So I loaded up my dogs and chowed down. The label on the little plastic bowl should have read COLON BLOW CHILI! The label should also contain the following warning: Mixing this chili with large amounts of Bud Lite will maximize cramping and fecal velocity. Need I expand?

We took B4's little dirtbike, B1's larger dirtbike and the four-wheeler home. Despite one major accident where B1's elbow was ground the hamburger (and he cried like a baby), there were no broken bones and no lacerations that required stitching. Only a few major scraps and a few muffler burns marred the kids. My mother did however, run out of gauze, hydrogen peroxide, medical tape and antibiotic ointment and all of them had a white bandage somewhere on their body during the weekend.

My kids were exposed to the fringes of society as our visit home came during the Rainbow Family Gathering in the area. So, we drove by the camp that my nephew so vividly said, "Smells like butt." Well, it did - I don't know if they were just letting it flap in the breeze, scratching it, or showing it off, but they certainly "wasn't warshing it". Pee-ewww! It was an experience the kids won't soon forget.

On to the writing front, not alot happened. This week I need to complete issues 92 and 93 of the serial. I'm falling behind.

Chapter 1 of my novel, Strange Fruit, is the featured fiction for July in Wildchild Publishing. I'll post the link to my website when it becomes available.

BK

I'm Back From Holiday

I had a great time in the mountains. It was peaceful (except for the dirtbikes), relaxing (if one can relax while spending quality time with their mother) and refreshing (if one doesn't have allergies).

Seriously, I took Friday to do some tourism. Even though I grew up in the area and became used to many of the areas, two have managed to keep my interest after all these years.



Droop Mountain Lookout Tower

The view from this tower is breath taking.

I also met up with some old friends on their way to a gathering. The Rainbow Family has gathered near my childhood home on a regular basis for about 25 years. Every time I see them, it takes my breath away - the simplicity of it all. However sometimes soap, a razor and some deodorant ain't a bad thing (if you know what I mean!)

The best part of all - I purchased an autographed copy of Pearl S. Buck's China As I See It. Yep, I know she's been dead a long time - but they still had a few left at the giftshop. I am so excited about this.

I'll review this week's writing goals and other stuff tomorrow. Got to run.

BK

Pearl S. Buck Birthplace