Inner Conflict

I'm out of balance. My mental and physical self is all out of whack and conflict to the point where I have no clarity or focus. Ahhhh! I hate it when this happens.

Instead of writing yesterday, I worked on this problem. I've devised a plan so I'll see how it goes.

Once again, I spent yesterday evening at the ballfield. B1 had batting practice so I walked across the parking lot and caught the 10U girls softball game. B2 had a few old teammates there, so she spent the evening in the dugout providing the "team spirit" for her friends.

I sat up on the hill and made fun of the parents of the opposing team who brought those annoying cow bells to the game. Awful thoughts ran through my mind:

"Instead of ringing it like a fool, tie it around your fat neck as it was intended . . ."

"Someone tie the feed bag on her. That will shut her up . . ."

"Shouldn't she be off grazing somewhere?"

"Can someone please milk her? She's getting cranky."

Am I bad?

Anyhow, our team won 7-5 in a come from behind inning where the score started out at 5-2. Both the coaches and the parents on the other team were a bit hot (and I can't say I blame them in a few cases) about really bad calls from the officials. After the game, the umpires ran up the steps to their cars like their asses were on fire with an angry mob of parents behind them. How undignified! It is behavior such as this that makes me sit up on the hill or way down the third base line as I find the closer I am to the game, the more intense it feels. And if I do happen to yell, I'm so far away no one can really hear me. It is entertaining to watch other parents and coaches have a meltdown though.

On the writing front, I must finish issue 87 of the serial and start on issue 88 today. No excuses.