Still Christmas Shopping?

Finished: typed Issue 50 of the serial
To Do: Edit and send Issue 50 to editor

Tracking: issue to subscribers - #42; issue to KIC - #49

Family from out of town arrives today and I’ve spent most of the day buying Christmas gifts for my two beautiful nephews. We’ll eat and visit so not much writing will be completed today.

I combed the bookstores for Sandra Kring’s new book, Carry Me Home. I didn’t see it anywhere and I had three children in tow so there was no way I had time to ask someone or browse.

I still must complete 2 issues of the serial this week: #50 and 51. I have given myself until Saturday.

I created a spreadsheet for tracking my 2005 GDR Projects. It looks pretty good and gives me a clear picture of weekly word counts and completion dates if I stay on schedule. Here is a summary of my three biggest projects:

Sustaining Business

Project #1: Blood on an Appalachian Sunset (3 book series)

Current Word Count: 80,000
Estimated Completed Word Count: 170,000
Weekly Word Count: 4200
Estimated Completion Date: 6/5/2005

NPI

Project #1: Strange Fruit

Current Word Count: 55,527
Estimated Completed Word Count: 95,000
Weekly Word Count: 4000
Estimated Completion Date: 3/13/2005

Project #2: Mattie’s Song

Current Word Count: 0
Planned Start Date: 10/03/2005
Estimated Completed Word Count: 95,000
Weekly Word Count: 6000
Estimated Completion Date: 1/30/2006

Project #3: Hope River Rewrite

Current Word Count: 86,442
Planned Start Date: 6/6/2005
Estimated Completed Word Count: 95,000
Weekly Word Count: 6000
Estimated Completion Date: 9/19/2005

I have created my vision and mission statement, defined specific goals, prioritized projects and established weekly timelines. That was the easy part as the rest must come from within. Now is the time to separate the artist from the hacks and through determination, hard work and support from other writers on my writers’ forum, I have a positive outlook. Here’s to 2005! Happy New Year everyone.

BK

Congratulations to a Fellow Writer and 2005 Projects Defined

Finished: 1 handwritten issue
To Do: Edit and type handwritten issue and write 1 issue

Tracking: issue to subscribers as of 12/27/04 – # 41; Issue at KIC - #49

Great News! A writer acquaintance I know as ResoluteWriter has her first novel out on bookshelves now. Sandra Kring’s Carry Me Home should have Oprah knocking down her door. I read the synopsis and excerpt on the publisher’s homepage (thanks for the tip TerriD) and it is truly a piece of art. When my husband’s Barnes and Noble ban is lifted, this will be the first book I purchase!

As for me, I couldn’t concentrate last night despite locking my office door, playing some usually inspirational music and my candles. I managed a decent sized Issue 50 but I still need to get Issue 51 to the editor by the end of the week to reach my goal of 9 issues ahead by the end of the year. I kept telling myself that a serious writer writes everyday and got through most of it.

I have defined my 2005 projects for GDR’s I am doing along with a few other writers. I have categorized my projects into Sustaining Business and New Product Implementation. These are prioritized by project numbers.

Sustaining Business:

Project 1: Blood on an Appalachian Sunset Serial
Project 2: Seek venues for poetry
Project 3: Quarterly Poetry column for KIC Magazine

New Product Implementation (NPI):

Project 1: Strange Fruit Novel
Project 2: Mattie’s Song – my stewing new novel
Project 3: Hope River – my first novel – decent but needs a rewrite
Project 4: 10 new short stories
Project 5: Rework an old blog into some articles for parenting magazines
Project 6: Poetry

Now, I need to create timelines for these projects, research paying publications and do some scheduling. My evening will be tied up soon as the kids’ activities will consume every minute until after 9 pm.

I’m sure projects will change as time passes and as my inspirations change.

Please wish me luck. I'm going to need it.

BK

Fear and a Writer's Epiphany

Finished: 1 issue of the serial written and off to the editor
To Do: 1 issue to the editor

Tracking: Out to subscribers: #41; at KIC - #49; 8 issues ahead.

I finished Issue 49 and sent it off to the editor last night. I need to complete two more issues this week to reach my goal of getting 9 issues head by the year end. I wrote one acceptance letter to a writer for a travel article and a rejection letter for another article. Funny, I never thought I’d be writing rejections. I emailed a place for a new venture I’ve been looking into. I hope they respond. I haven’t heard anything else from any of my submissions.

The strangest thing happened to me as I was shopping on Christmas Eve. I was at Target and a young man walked past me. For some strange reason I felt I knew him. I recognized his face and kept my eye on him just enough so he wouldn't notice and searched my mind as to how I knew him. I never figured it out while I was in the store and ended up paying for my purchases and left. It dawned on my while I was driving home. He matched the description of one of my characters! That's why I felt I knew him, but I really didn't. Strange huh!

Someone close to me has given me the same advice over and over again “You need to teach those kids not to be so scared.” It all stems from my younger children possessing what I consider normal childhood fears – the dark, monsters, being alone, etc. I also have vivid memories of my own childhood fears – something many have put behind them and cannot understand how someone can be afraid of something so “silly”.

I believe people learn to control their emotions but the emotion is still there. My youngest son courageously walks upstairs to get his pajamas but after he runs back down the stairs and jumps into my lap, I know the fear is there. I can see it in his eyes, feel it in his trembling limbs as he runs to safety and I can hear it pounding in his tiny chest.

Every creak, every bang, every time the heat comes on is cause for alarm. My older two never had fear this pronounced but all the children are different and the younger two seemed to have more than their fair share.

I’ve decided upon which role I’ll take with this fear. I am by nature and the grace of God, a nurturer. I will do my best to make them safe, hold them when they are scared and help them to face and perhaps one day overcome their fear. But the fear is not mine – it is theirs and only they can defeat it. Today it is closet monsters and a dark hallway, tomorrow it will be driving, going off to college and facing the “monsters” of the real world – predators, liars, thieves and murderers. Fear is healthy and it can save your life. I refuse to chastise them about their fear and I also refuse to allow others to do it, no matter how well meaning they are or how wise and experienced they think they are.

I’ve stressed listening to gut feel when the brain is giving conflicting directions. The heart speaks softly so one has to listen closely and ignore the brain in trying times. My oldest daughter has a strong intuition for a young girl and I’ve fostered that. She can feel evil in people and I know by her actions when she feels it. I equate her sixth sense to a tuning fork when aimed at people around her. My younger daughter still needs to develop her intuition but is coming along just fine.

My oldest son has a strong conscience and a good heart. He knows right from wrong and many teachers and other parents have commented that “they can always go to Jxxx for the truth”, “you would have been so proud of Jxxx” or “Jxxx has never lied to me.” Don’t get me wrong, he is far from perfect but when he is caught breaking a rule; he will not lie to me. On the other hand, he gets very angry when others lie and get away with it. Once again, he has to learn to deal with injustice as he’ll have a long life of it. My role is to nurture and reinforce positive behavior. My youngest son needs still needs to punished for lying at times but he’s getting better as he gets older.

One of the greatest compliments I ever received was from a caregiver who said, “You need to get down on your knees and thank God for your children. . .” This is from a woman who has taken care of hundreds of children over the years.

There is little I fear in this world other than for the health and well-being of those I love. I don’t fear failure nor do I fear poverty as I’ve been through those. I considered myself strong and grounded but sometimes the events across the world can bring me to my knees. It has been of late with the Tsunami in Asia. I shouldn’t ask why, but I cannot help myself. 40,000 people are gone. It is such a tragedy.

I read a posting on a message board yesterday and I wonder about the state of publishing. A writer wrote (I’m paraphrasing) “This week I’ll finish the last chapter of a book that I know will never be published by traditional means.” I found this both disheartening and encouraging. This writer knows the odds of getting published but still was enough of a writer to be able to write “The End.” With this, I commend all writers who bravely pick up the pen and write “Chapter One” and have the tenacity and heart to be able to write “The End.”

BK

A New Beginning. . . .

Finished: 1 issue of serial written and sent to editor
To Do: 2 issues of serial handwritten and 1 issue sent to editor

Tracking: Issue out as of 12/27/04 – #41; Issue to KIC - #48; 7 issues ahead of subscribers

In 2004 I took many “first” steps towards becoming a writer. I have multiple publishing credits and I no longer work full time.

I am excited about what 2005 will bring me. I been writing for five years now and I’ve not thought once of giving up entirely. I’ve taken many breaks, shelved many ideas, doubted my writing ability, become frustrated with rejections and wondered whether the time spent would pay off. Over these five years I come to understand that my true self emerges when I write and writing is now who I am.

I have laid waste to the politician in me and discarded the various masks I kept to portray what I believed others wanted me to be. This left many people confused and angry but I’ve kept true to myself and I’m happy with what I’ve become. I am still many things to different people – wife, mother, cook, chauffer, cheerleader, mentor, etc, but I am Brenda, straight up, no compromises, what you see is what you get!

I’ve completed my Writers Vision:

To be recognized and ascend into the inner circle of fellowship among my literary peers while captivating the reading public with my stories.

My Mission Statement:

Quality In Every Word

I’ve struggled over writing and submitting to non-paying publications and the question of should I submit to only paying ones. I’ve concluded that I can mix the two – perhaps 60% paying and 40% nonpaying. My logic tells me that there is still value-add in the nonpaying as they are still publicity and many of them are held with high regards. There is no mention of money in either my Vision or my Mission Statement but a gal’s got to pay for the printer cartridges doesn’t she?

I’m still working on my list and priority of projects and what I can reasonably handle. I’ll post that later this week. I still want to break out of the historical genre, but the muse that will help me do this has yet to show itself.

A Soldier’s Story is now published at Copperfield Review.

I haven’t heard anything from any more of my submissions. Here is the latest list:

1 poem to Skyline Magazine (submitted 8/20/2004)
1 short story to Paradox Magazine (submitted 9/16/2004)
4 poems to Drunken Boat (submitted 9/28/2004)
1 short story to Solander (submitted 10/4/2004)
1 short story to Mid-South Review (submitted 10/14/2004)
1 short story to Wildchild Publishing (submitted 10/20/2004)
1 poem to Maelstrom (submitted 10/28/2004)
1 poem to Big Ugly Fiction (submitted 10/30/2004)
3 poems to Mid-South Review (submitted 11/15/2004)
1 poem to Evergreen Review (submitted 11/15/2004)
1 poem to NFG Magazine (submitted 12/6/04 – tenacity is a “strength” of mine!)
1 poem to Penwomanship (submitted 12/27/2004)

I'll probably get slammed with rejections after the New Year, but I think there may be a few acceptances in my future.

BK

Happy Christmas Everyone. . .

I know I’m a day late. I should have posted something yesterday but I truly believe that Christmas is a day of reflection, love and spending time with those who are most dear to you. That’s what I did and was a magical day.

For starters, I got to sleep Christmas morning until 7:30 am – this in a house with one middle-schooler and three grade-schoolers. The one morning I needed to have them wake me up – I needed to get the turkey on by 7:00 am - they didn’t.

Everyone got what they had written on their lists. My oldest son actually said, “This is the BEST Christmas ever!” Yes, I’m guilty of playing into the commercial aspects of Christmas but my kids know the true meaning of Christmas.

Dinner was a little late but by then I’d had a few glasses of wine and didn’t care too much.

I didn’t get much writing done over the weekend. Here are the stats on the serial:

12/27/04 – Issue 41 out to subscribers
12/26/04 – Issue 47 out to KIC

I need to write four issues this week to reach my goal of 9 issues ahead. I hope to write one tonight after dinner. I haven't heard anything from any of my submissions.

As 2004 draws to a close, I am set to focus on my GDRs (Goals, Dreams and Resolutions) for 2005. I am doing this with a few other writers this year. I’ve made resolutions in the past but stuck to them for about a month before I was back to my old habits. I hope this year will be different and I’ve decided to approach 2005 a little differently than previous years.

As far as writing goes, I’ve decided to treat it like a business. The first item any the agenda is a Vision. My current working vision is:

To be recognized and ascend into the inner circle of fellowship among my literary peers while captivating the reading public with my stories.

In other words, I want people to read my work and my peers and critics to appreciate my work. I’ve said all along, I don’t want to become wealthy from my writing. I want my writing to stand the test of time and one day be considered classic literature. It is a dream I know, but it is a dream that can become reality if I work hard enough.

Throughout this week I’ll be creating my Mission Statement (right now is: Quality In Every Word), outline and rank my projects, identify value add and non-value add and create measurements.

I’m not ready to put together balance sheets, P&L statements, or expense reports yet, but hopefully by the end of 2005 there will be some income from my writing.

I’ve used the word “Hope” three times in this blog. Hope can mean many things: optimism, faith, confidence, trust, expectation, wish, desire, want, aspiration, dream, anticipation, expectancy, prospect, belief fancy. [1]

I have all but the expectation. Despite all the enthusiasm, I’ve been around long enough to know there is probable failure, but if I don’t try it is guaranteed failure. You do the math.

Guaranteed – Probable = Hope

Wish me luck,

BK

[1] Roget’s Super Thesaurus, Second Edition, 1998.

Happy Christmas. . .

Finished: Not one darn thing!
To do: Write 1 issue of the serial and send off to editor

Tracking: Issue out as of 12/20/2004 - #39; Issues to KIC – through #47

Today will probably be my last blog until after Christmas. Tomorrow I prepare all the sweets that no one in the family needs to eat and revel in the joy that is Christmas. I might write a bit more on my serials but I’ll need to get three issues out next week just to ensure I stay ahead of my subscribers.

There is good news all around. I was so distraught after my encounter with North Carolina’s finest, I completely forgot about some of it.

My serial, Blood on an Appalachian Sunset, sold on EBAY. KIC has a store there and someone purchased a three month subscription. I hope they like it enough to continue.

I am profiled on KIC’s Meet The Author this week.

I also failed to write about my cyber-friend, Angela’s new KIC serial Fate Steps In, now available for subscription. Any fans of romance will certainly want to check this one out. Her blog, Roses and Brambles, is linked at the top of this page.

Another cyber-friend has a short story being published at Mid-South Review entitled Sergeant of Drummers.

Copperfield Review, a quarterly journal for readers and writers of historical fiction will be re-running A Soldier’s Story in their January 2005 issue. This brings the numbers to 17 submissions still outstanding, 19 publications and 16 rejections.

I got a total of two paragraphs written last night. I’m hooked on the new television show, Lost, and I’m quite ashamed of myself. I’ve detested most television shows since Seinfeld left years ago (and to be quite honest, I’m tired of all the re-runs). If I watch television at all anymore it is either the History Channel, Discovery Channel, Ovation and of course the show American Chopper.

I didn’t catch the first ones so they have kindly re-aired those. I watched two hours of it last night and next Wednesday they are re-airing another two hours.

The electricity was off at my house last night and I woke up to the clock blinking 5:25. It was actually 7:11 am so I was late for work.

Reflection:

2004 has indeed been a year of change. I’ve gone from writing as a hobby to becoming a writer. I’ve left full-time corporate work to focus more time on my family and my writing. I no longer walk around exhausted from writing until the wee hours of the morning and getting back up at 5 am.

Many teachers and other parents tell me that the kids seem more relaxed and satisfied since I’ve stopped working. This in itself is worth a million publishing credits.

This is my last reflection entry. Next week I, along with several other writers, will be finalizing our GDR’s (Goals, Dreams and Resolutions). I'll map my plans here for the writing portions.

Until then have a safe and happy Christmas everyone!

BK

Almost there. . . .

Finished: 3 and ½ issues written, typed and edited
4 issues sent to Editor

To do: Write 1 issue and send to editor

Tracking Issue out as of 12/20/2004 – 39
Issues to KIC - Issue 47

As of right now I’m 8 issues head of my subscriptions. I need to write 2 more issues this week to put me 9 issues ahead after Thursday. After I reach 9 issues, I need to write 2 issues per week to keep 9 issues ahead.

I also caught up on the laundry, wrapped a few more presents and made dinner. I managed to read a few submissions for the magazine. I missed my son’s basketball game but it was too late and too cold to take everyone out.

This morning while I was still enjoying my moment and thrilled I was able to write so much in one day, it happens. The blue lights in my rear view. What could I have done? I wasn’t speeding because I saw the police officer following me and that would be pretty stupid. I had my seatbelt on. I pull over and Officer J.W. Weatherman (a.k.a. Sheriff Buford T. Justice) strolls up to my window and asks to see my drivers license and registration. I deducted that one of my brake lights must not be working.

“What’s wrong?” I ask him.

“You registration has expired,” he replied.

“Oh,” I said and handed him the required documents.

Twenty minutes of waiting, watching cars pass by, children pointing at the blue lights and me watching the clock as I’m now late for work, he strolls back up and hands me a citation for expired registration, explains the form and explains the $150.00 fine. ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS! I was in shock. I sign the form, wish him a Happy Christmas and mutter “stupid f*cking jerk” under my breath after I’ve rolled up my window. What ever happened to just giving a warning?

Well, I’m not paying a damn thing until I have my day in court. My driving record was spotless until "Barney Fife" decided to bruise it. I equate this to him watching me walk around unknowingly with toilet paper stuck to my shoe then giving me a ticket for littering when it falls off. I am outraged.

By the time I call my husband I’m in tears. He calls the DMV and they inform him that they send out renewal notifications as a courtesy. A courtesy! How many people walk around to the back of their vehicles and check that 1 inch by 1 inch sticker on their license plate?

So if I go to prepare my case. My plea is NOT guilty. My argument is I never received the notice. My gripe is that the punishment seemed a bit harsh when I remedied the error on the same day and I found out about it.

Well I just found out that the reason for the mishap was that my Truck was reclassified from a 4000 lb vehicle to a 5000 lb vehicle (perhaps I need to use some low-cal gasoline because I have no idea how the truck mass expanded 1000 lbs when it still fits in the garage) and sometimes when changes are made to the vehicle, the renewals are kicked out of the system and not sent to the registered owner.

Well enough about that.

I haven’t heard anything from any of my submissions.

Reflection:

I’ve written about how my writing improved and expanded when I stopped focusing on getting my novel published and how I’ve become a more disciplined writer.

Today I want to reflect on my reading habits. I chose my fiction based upon how the author was revered by the literary community and upon what I could learn from their prose. I spent most of my energy studying each sentence, analyzing each paragraph and studying the mechanics the writer used to create the story. What I failed to do was to read the book for enjoyment. Isn’t that what the author wanted? I read more critical analysis of Faulkner, Whitman, Hemingway, the Bronte sisters, Morrison, and Angelou and not enough of their work for enjoyment. Instead of broadening my scope and knowledge, I insolated myself both in my reading and in my writing.

The change was subtle. I struggled when I attempted to write a short story, Death of a Marriage, about a woman sitting in the waiting room of a Divorce Attorney’s office reflecting on the why her marriage didn’t work. I still have the 1st draft but I stopped working on it.

I received a rejection from the editor of Natahala Magazine for my short story, Winter of 1917. He wrote:

Ms. Birch,Your story is very powerful and shows a dedication to historical accuracy. On the other hand, it does not quite fit Nantahala Review. I would encourage you to send us other stories in the future, particularly if they are out of the historical fiction box. Thank you for considering us, and I hope to hear from you sometime in the future.

I read two things into this:

1) Perhaps some more contemporary storylines are in order and 2) the part of my dedication to historical accuracy - I pride myself on being accurate and this validated me a little.

It was then that I decided to broaden my own literary knowledge. Did I have to ability to write contemporary fiction? I’m still unsure about that but it is a question I need to answer. Since then, I’ve read more commercial authors such as Patterson, Grisham and Cornwell. I could never write like them but now I know what else is out there.

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." - Bilbo Baggins as recalled by Frodo Baggins, The Fellowship of the Ring.

Happy Christmas

BK

Happy Winter Solstice!

Finished: 1 issue of the serial to the editor; 1 and ½ issue handwritten

To do: 1 issue of the serial to the editor; 1 and ½ issue handwritten

Goal: To be 9 issues ahead by the end of 2004.

Tracking: Issue out as of 12/20/2004 – 39
Issue into KIC editor: 43 (must *gasp* write *gasp* faster)


These are lofty goals for today but I think I can get it done. I actually have to do some work today; I have laundry piled as high as those rugged Appalachians that I write about and my son has a basketball game tonight at eight o’clock. I also have to run by the mall and pick up one last Christmas gift.

Amazon.com made their last delivery yesterday so the children are all set to get everything on their list – and then some. I need to take the girls shopping for dresses for Church on Christmas Eve.

Last night was a very good writing night. I’m upstairs in my organized office, with my new lamp and glowing candles. I wrote Issue 43 on the computer which if you don’t read this blog regularly it is a task for me to “write” on the computer. I prefer pencil and paper to create and then edit on the computer.

Well, I thought I was five issues ahead and but I am only four. I want to be nine issues ahead by the end of the year because one of my goals for 2005 is to spend Thursday and Friday on my novel.

Reflection:

In 2004 I have become more disciplined with my writing. In the beginning of the year, I’d go for days without writing one word. Mid-year I worked out a schedule where I’d write at lunch and squeeze time to type either in the afternoon at my day job or at night after everything settled down. My novel took off and grew tremendously – not just in thickness but in quality.

In August I pitched the KIC serial and was accepted. I’m the first one to admit I was challenged by the serial concept and didn’t know how time-consuming it would be. I still struggle to stay ahead but I’m more aware that my writing is now my career and I’m committed to getting caught up and staying there.

Here is some excellent advice to live by as provided by DailyOM:

Exercise patience in everything you do and understand that change will take time, devotion, and hard work. Accomplishing one simple goal right now will make it easier to accomplish larger more difficult ones later on.

Must write. . .

BK

Ohhh, That Harry Potter!

I was on track and motivated. My chores were done and everything was ready for the Monday morning rush. My mind was ripe with ideas ready for plucking and I had the lighter in my hand for all my candles.

I walk through the living room on my way upstairs and I hear it. I didn't want to turn around but I couldn't stop myself. The foreboding music coming from the television announced baby Harry’s arrival on the Dursley’s doorstep. WELL IT WAS OVER. The next thing I knew it was eleven o’clock and I didn’t write one word all evening.

I love those movies and The Sorcerer's Stone is my favorite one, because it puts you in the magic of Hogwarts for the very first time. You're drawn to the characters even before Hagrid taps the brick to introduce Diagon Alley. The awe inspiring castle with its moving paintings and gothic furnishings take you to another place.

When you watch the second one, you know what to expect, but the first one will take your breath away. J.K. Rowlings, thank you for creating this world for all of us! (Yes, I've read all the books.)

Living in the south I still hear from those so leaning so far to the right that they’re about to topple over, about how HP promotes witchcraft and the occult. In fact, I just had this conversation with my Manager this morning and she admitted that her grandson read the first book but begged his mother not to tell his grandma. Can you believe that? Here is a child who read a book and did not want his grandma to know.

I can understand if the book was some non-fiction garbage about satan or how to make a bomb with household cleaners but it wasn’t. It was just another book that millions of other children and adults have enjoyed for years.

(sidebar thought - While I’m typing this blog in MS Word, it is prompting me to capitalize satan. Is there some reason unknown to me that I should formally address satan or is there something about Bill Gates I don’t know about? Seems odd to me, that’s all.) Anyway back to blogging.

Anyway, there went another night of non-writing that I’ll never get back.

I must write two issues of the serial tonight and send one off to the editor. I wanted to get some writing done this morning but I actually had work to do when I got into the office. I’m caught up now and I plan to write until I have to leave at 3 pm.

I haven’t heard anything else from any of my submissions. Here is an updated list:

1 poem to Skyline Magazine (submitted 8/20/2004)
1 short story to Paradox Magazine (submitted 9/16/2004)
4 poems to Drunken Boat (submitted 9/28/2004)
1 short story to Solander (submitted 10/4/2004)
1 short story to Mid-South Review (submitted 10/14/2004)
1 short story to Copperfield Review (submitted 10/20/2004)
1 short story to Wildchild Publishing (submitted 10/20/2004)
1 poem to Maelstrom (submitted 10/28/2004)
1 poem to Big Ugly Fiction (submitted 10/30/2004)
3 poems to Mid-South Review (submitted 11/15/2004)
1 poem to Evergreen Review (submitted 11/15/2004)
1 poem to NFG Magazine (submitted 12/6/04 – tenacity is a “strength” of mine!)

I have 18 outstanding submissions, 18 acceptances, and 16 rejections.

Reflection:

As 2004 comes to a close, I sometimes reflect back to where I was at the end of 2003, with regards to writing. Somehow I don’t want to dwell on the fact that I’m another year older, my oldest son is now 11 and half of his life in my house with me is over, loss of dear friends, and all the wonderful things that happened and I didn’t have my camera.

I entered 2004 hungry to be published and it was only when I put that desire aside did I truly behave and ascend as a writer. I wrote my first poem, even though I didn’t think I could write poetry. I discovered a sense of satisfaction when I wrote a fluid sentence, and for the first time in awhile I read more fiction than critical essays of revered literary artists. 2004 has been a year of extraordinary growth of my writing and I can only hope 2005 will be even better.

Happy Christmas!

BK

Cleaning out the Clutter. . .

I need to write, but instead I found myself deep inside my youngest son’s closet crawling amongst the broken Power Rangers, bits of crayon and some unidentified slime. Four trash bags later, it is pristine and ready for Santa to fill it up again.

His bedroom is on the second floor right beside my office so I decided to clean it too, but I only had one trash bag. I couldn’t believe the paper I kept – countless rejection letters, pages of Publishers Lunch, and a request from Bob Mecoy for a synopsis of my second novel (which was by no means ready to query). I’ve tossed it all and I am ready for a fresh start in 2005.

There were at least a foot of books that were thrown at random from the bookshelf by the “Mad Book Fairy” (because my children would never treat a book so poorly). I put all the Magic Treehouse Books in numerical order, put the Lemony Snicket books back beside the Harry Potter books and put all Scholastic and Dr. Seuss books in the same section.

I moved one of my plants to the top of the bookcase and let the leaves hang over the side. It looks good but I’ll have to watch it to make sure it gets enough sunlight. I went out to purchase a lamp for my office because I really don’t like the overhead light. Even though the store was crowded with holiday shoppers I found the one I wanted – and it was only $21.00 with the shade. Heck I spent more on my shampoo and conditioner at Great Clips (which is the cheapest place I found to buy the salon brand I use and I haven’t purchased it from my hair stylist in years).

The lamp is the perfect touch to my office. I love the loveseat in the corner with the big fluffy pillows, my stereo playing Enya and some Celtic music, the smell of my aunt’s mystery book collection on the bookshelves and a few of the children’s pictures on the shelves. I’ll light some candles after supper and write, write, write.

I know I’ve written about my Aunt Ruth’s (we called her mamaw) mystery book collection. When I was younger, we’d visit and I’d sneak into my uncle’s office and just look at all the books stack on sturdy oak shelves. It seemed so vast to me then.

When my aunt died, my cousin didn’t want them so my mother took them. She donated a bunch to the library and the rest stayed in her shed until I rescued them a few years ago. There are prized Agatha Christie, Ellery Queen, Rex Stout, Maurice Procter, Dell Shannon, Ian Fleming and many others. I only have about ¼ of my aunt’s collection but I treasure each one.

I received a rejection for my poem, Sanctuary, from a publication. I didn’t think it was the right fit. I haven’t heard anything else.

Tonight I plan to write two issues of Blood. If I get an issue out to the editor on Monday, Tuesday (issue 38 goes out but I’ll be 6 issues ahead), Wednesday (7 issues ahead), and Thursday (8 issues ahead). Issue 39 goes out on Friday (back to 7 issues ahead) and Saturday is Christmas so there won’t be much writing going on again until Monday (back to 6 issues ahead, darn). Oh well, all I can do is my best.

Well, I hear the laundry calling. . . .

BK

A Little Vacation . . .

I took Friday off from writing. It was a needed break as my eyes burned from lack of sleep and my brain was mush. I did the last of the Christmas shopping. My mother-in-law wanted a trashcan (???) so I got her the one she wanted. I still need to pick up the perfume she asked for. My oldest daughter had books on her list but didn’t specify any. I purchased books 1 through 5 of the Spiderwick Chronicles. I think I’ll like them!

Today I took two of the children to see the Lemony Snicket movie. I’ve read books 1 through 6 and the movie seemed to mix the first three together. This time I can honestly say, I like the movie better than the books. Jim Carey did an excellent job at the evil Count Olaf and Meryl Streep was great as Aunt Josephine. I give it four stars!

I sent Issue 42 of Blood to the editor tonight. So I’m now 5 issues ahead but I put a note in the email to the editor just to make sure.

Well, another Saturday night with pencil in hand.

BK

I’ll take an order of silence with some caffeine-free on the side. . . .

Finished: 1 issue of serial handwritten; 2 issues of serial completed and off to editor

To do: 1 issue of serial handwritten; 1 issue of serial completed and off to the editor

I need to stop the caffeine. I can feel my body reacting and not in a good way. I’ve been jittery and my heart keeps a rapid beat. I’ve always been rabid about my caffeine intake because of my lifestyle, but since I’ve slowed my pace I need to make some changes. I added one scoop of regular coffee and filled the rest of the filter with decaf. I hope that will be all I need for today. I cannot go cold turkey because I did that four years ago and I ended up throwing up by lunchtime. I purchased caffeine free Diet DP at the store on Sunday only because the shelf where the “leaded” version should be was empty. I’ve been drinking a ton of water just to detox.

What about the silence? Well, this does belong in my Suburban Dairies Blog, but since I put it on hiatus until after the holidays, I'll write about it here.

My darlings were in rare form last night – giddy, rowdy, and out of control. I’d asked them to settle down at least twice before I yelled. Well, after my rampage was over, my oldest daughter smiled. That one smile led the other two to burst out into hysterical laughter. If I would have had a bpm on my arm, I would have been rushed to the hospital.

I don’t deserve such disrespect nor will I tolerate it. By 6:30 pm three of them were tucked in their beds and sobbing into their pillows. My oldest one was not involved. Sure I got the usual teary pleas of “Can we have a second chance?” or the sad whispers of “I love you Mommy,” so I know they felt a slight tinge of guilt. We’ll have to see if this did any good. I’m sure it will – for a little while at least.

I listened to Christmas music on my drive into work today for the first time. I listen to classical public radio unless the kids are with me then it’s the alternative rock station. They broadcasted timeless traditional Christmas carols and mixed it with a few pieces of Tchaikovsky, just for flavor. It was beautiful.

Not much new on the writing front. I haven’t heard anything from my submissions and I’ve pretty much written them off until after the New Year. There are some that are aging a bit and I’ll probably submit those pieces elsewhere around the first of February. I’m now four issues ahead on my serial and if I stay on track, I’ll be eight issues ahead by 12/20 and nine issues ahead by 12/22. Oh, Happy Christmas to me! After that it will be just two issues per week to keep at nine issues at all times.

I forgot my Firelite at home so I can’t work here and save anything. I’ll have to email it home. Arrgghh!

I need to take one more look at my writing goals for 2005.

BK

Rolling Along

Finished: 1 Issue typed and sent to Editor; 1 Issue handwritten

Today’s Goal: 2 Issues typed and sent to Editor; 2 Issues handwritten

I think I now have a handle on the serial. I kept my word about discipline and yesterday I typed and edited Issue 39 and sent it off to the editor. I also wrote all of Issue 41 and a portion of Issue 42. I know I must write faster, but I need to make sure the story is quality.

I must forego the goal of working on my novel this week. There are no activities tonight so I can get started writing at about 7 pm and write until around 11 pm. I have to work tomorrow but I’m sure I can find time to type and edit Issues 42 and 43.

I’ve created a tracking spreadsheet just to keep my head above water. I’m now three issues ahead and need to be 9 issues ahead. If I type and edit two issues today, I’ll be 4 issues ahead as Issue 37 will be sent out tomorrow.

I watched the Frank McCort interview AGAIN last night on the Ovation Network while I worked on Issue 42. I could sit and listen to his Irish Accent all day long and the man has a most depressing yet fascinating past. He was able to draw on that to write two of the best memoirs I’ve read (not that I’ve read a ton). I believe it is the honesty and purity of the prose. They said the folks in Limmerick weren't too thrilled with the way their city was portrayed in the book and accused Mr. McCort of fabricating much of the hardship. I don't even believe it was portrayed in a negative light. Every city has their blights, pockets of poverty, homelessness and utter despair.

I also love The Diary of Anne Frank. I saw on a 60 Minutes show where North Korea is using The Diary of Anne Frank in their schools for Anti-America propoganda. Not sure how they're twisting that one, but I did find it unnerving and sad that the children interviewed were kept calling the US "the Nazi-Americans". I wondered how they got so far off base and I wondered if any covert operation by the US Government prompted this hatred. But I could be way off base and I hope I am.

I thought about how much of my past is written in my work. I write primarily about the Appalachians. My first novel, Hope River, is set in modern Appalachia, my second novel, Strange Fruit, is set in Birmingham, Alabama (not the Appalachians but my dearly beloved South) and my serial (perhaps one day will be a YA fiction series) is also set in the mountains. The setting in my third novel, tentatively titled Mattie's Song, is also those hills, but it will be during the Prohibition Era (ummmm… I see moonshine in this one!).

In Blood on an Appalachian Sunset, the farm I write about is actually my grandfathers but is a little north of Droop Mountain. The part of the hidden room in the cellar is real (but not on my grandfather’s farm) as well as the accumulation of gold coin during the war. The caves are real but could never be seen from the farm as it is actually on the other side of the mountain. Marlins Bottom is a real town which was renamed Marlinton sometime after the war. Renick is also a real town just on the south side of Droop Mountain, but I doubt it had the mercantile as I’ve written.

I’ve drawn on much of my experience with farming and growing up in such a rural area but I have to be careful to remove any machinery that didn’t exist in 1861. I can visualize the wood cook stove in the Holcomb kitchen because my grandmother cooked on one until she was no longer able to (I’m guessing the year 2000). She had a gas stove too but refused to cook on it unless she had no choice.

On the north side of Droop Mountain there is a little known treasure. It is the Pearl S. Buck Birthplace and probably the start of my writing aspirations when I was in kindergarten. It is a simple white farmhouse and the Sydenstrickers were rarely there because of their missionary work. I love her middle name of Comfort and her father’s name, Absalom.

There is a step inside the house that opened, similar to a wooden box, and all the family valuables were hidden there for safety during the Civil War. This family was not the Sydenstrickers, but this step has stayed with me and I even used it in my first novel.

It’s odd that I spent my childhood dreaming of other places and now that I’m older, the very place I fled haunts my every thought.

BK

Home With The Tummy Bug. . . .

Achieved: 1 Issue of the serial typed and sent to the editor.
1 Issue of the serial handwritten.

Today’s Goal: 1 Issue of the serial sent to editor.
1 Issue of the serial handwritten.

I should have known it was going to happen. First my oldest daughter and yesterday after school it was my youngest son. I woke up at 2:09 am. I could get more descriptive but you get the picture. I took the kids to school in sweatpants and sunglasses. Ugh! I'm turning into my nemisis - unkempt mom!

I took advantage of the free time and called the doctor’s office to see if they could squeeze me in. I waited too long for some blood-work I need regularly. Nothing too serious but just a few of those genetic malfunctions passed down through generations on my mother’s side.

Well, the scales tipped a bit in the wrong direction, the symptoms I suspected were verified and the lab technician was in training. Could it get any worse? There was more blood dripping from my arm to the lab table than was going into the three vials they needed to take. Here is the conversation after the last drop was sopped up by a sponge.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” she asked. Her trying eyes and tender age begged me to spare her feelings.

“Uh. . .I guess you just need a little practice,” I said as I held the gauze on my throbbing, bloody arm. “Everybody has to start somewhere.”

After that I had to run to the bank. Some chicky-poo decided she wanted to gab while then left-turn-arrow glowed green. I have a gentle tap on the horn and she gave me the finger. Ha, it would take more than the middle finger of a piece of white trash to make me feel worse!

On the writing front, last night I had a good night. I typed Issue 38 of Blood on an Appalachian Sunset and sent it off to the editor. I have Issues 39 and 40 handwritten in my notebook. I have some great ideas of how to proceed and some of the story from Book 1 (Issues 1 through 29 or the year 1861) is working well into Book 2 (Issues 30 to about 55K words for the year 1862). If I can get at least five issues out to the editor by Thursday I’ll stop and work some on Strange Fruit, my novel.

I haven’t heard anything from any of my submissions.

A writer friend of mine has a Christmas short story on Wildchild Publishing. The story is called Believing in Santa and it is a magical tale of hardship and faith. If you get a chance, register and vote for this lovely story.

My new word for awhile is discipline. I like the sound of it, but I need more of what it means. I have the time, now I must work hard while I can to write, write, write! Well, my tangerine zinger tea is ready (decaf of course) so it's off to the notebook.

Schedules, Timelines, and Goals. . .

Today’s Goals:

Type 2 issues of Blood on an Appalachian Sunset
Write 2 issues of Blood on an Appalachian Sunset (3000 words)

Christmas always brings out the best in me. Yes, this time of year is stressful, demanding, and depressing for some, but I love it.

I have the kid’s Christmas shopping almost done. I over-indulged them this year. I shop for the girls at Limited Too only twice a year. They love the clothes but the prices are outrageous. I picked one outfit apiece for them and the total came to $200.00. I was shocked but not shocked enough to put it all back. I got everything on their lists but I didn’t have the youngest one’s list. He wrote it – then lost it. I had to improvise with a few Gameboy games but I couldn’t think of anything else to get him.

I saw a little motorcycle at the toy store – the one with the chargeable battery and it looked pretty good. My husband didn’t want any part of anything that had to be charged. We had a bad experience with an electric scooter a few years back. I’d forgotten about it and we were on our way to Sam’s Club to pick up a few more things and browse for the little guy.

I almost got whiplash as he made a sharp left into the Motorcycle place. We kicked a few tires and purchased two dirt bikes - one for my youngest son and one for my oldest son. I also got a list of dirt tracks so I guess it is off to the races next summer!

On the writing front, I managed to get two issues (36 and 37) of Blood on an Appalachian Sunset to the editor but I'm nowhere near the 9 issues ahead that I need to be. I have at least 3 issues in my notebook that need to be typed and edited. I found that if I write for awhile (at least 6000 words) then type it, it works better for me. So, if I type 2 issues per day and write two issues per night I should get ahead. We’ll see. I’d like to take Thursday and Friday to work on my novel.

I haven’t heard anything from any of my submissions. Here is my outstanding list:

1 poem to Skyline Magazine (submitted 8/20/2004)
1 short story to Paradox Magazine (submitted 9/16/2004)
4 poems to Drunken Boat (submitted 9/28/2004)
1 short story to Solander (submitted 10/4/2004)
1 short story to Mid-South Review (submitted 10/14/2004)
1 short story to Copperfield Review (submitted 10/20/2004)
1 short story to Wildchild Publishing (submitted 10/20/2004)
1 poem to Zygote In My Coffee (submitted 10/24/2004)
1 poem to Maelstrom (submitted 10/28/2004)
1 poem to Big Ugly Fiction (submitted 10/30/2004)
3 poems to Mid-South Review (submitted 11/15/2004)
1 poem to Evergreen Review (submitted 11/15/2004)
1 poem to NFG Magazine (submitted 12/6/04 – tenacity is a “strength” of mine!)

The poem to NFG has probably been rejected but their website has been down for awhile and I cannot check the status.

Well, I just got handed some work to do so I must be going.

BK

A Day Off. . .

I had today off work, so I ran errands in the morning and then in the afternoon, I parked my behind in a coffee shop and wrote for a solid two hours. I got about an issue and a half completed for Blood on an Appalachian Sunset written. I still have to type and edit it, but I hope to send if off to the editor tonight.

I haven’t heard anything from any of my outstanding submissions but I still have more acceptances than rejections. I can’t feel bad about that now can I?

I’m slowly getting back into the writing groove but still plan to plan out a schedule so I can work on both my serial and my novel. I don’t know how successful I’ll be, but I won’t be successful at all if I don’t even try. I need to create both the structure and the obedience that I had when I worked full-time. There, I knew that if I didn’t get my work done, there were consequences. With writing, there are few. I need to get the mindset that writing is my work and when the work doesn’t get done, there are repercussions. But how do I discipline myself? Can I fire myself?

I write most of my initial drafts in a notebook and toss the pages after I type them out. I’ve thought about keeping them but why? I posed this question to other writers and most of them not only keep their notebooks, some of them even keep multiple electronic drafts of their work. I probably will start keeping mine, but my bookshelves are full and I have a pile of children’s book on the floor that I need to find room for.

I have a small Christmas list this year. My husband and I don’t get each other Christmas gifts because when we want something, we normally just go out and buy it. My mother-in-law always gets us things. My mother gives us cash. I asked for the LOTR – Return of the King extended version which goes on sale 12/14. I also asked for The Coal Tattoo by Silas House and a new compact umbrella. I discovered “someone” had stepped on mine and bent it to the point it wouldn’t open. I “discovered” this as I was walking to the office in a torrential downpour. Those darn kids! I have a big golf umbrella but it was in my husband’s truck. He even made a special point to call me that same morning and tell me it was there. I didn’t bother to get because I had a spare. Next time, I’ll bother.

Tonight is a free skate night at the skating rink. I suppose I’ll have to go. I’d rather sit alone in a booth and write but I’ll have to socialize. At a basketball practice not long ago, I sat on the top bleacher and had my nose in a book. I was told by a friend jokingly that I looked like a snob. Oh well, I am the misunderstood writer.

BK

Immaturity and Lack of Vision. . .

The gray skies have cleared and blue is everywhere, kissing the horizon while the sun bathes skeletal tree limbs with a nurturing warmth. It was another exquisite morning in the South. I was too harried to appreciate the brilliant sunrise I knew was just outside the tightly closed Venetian blinds. I could have taken just one moment, but chose not to and now regret it. I have a routine and it wasn’t time to open all the blinds yet. How presumptuous I am to believe I’ll live to see another one. There is only hope and faith, no guarantees.

On a lighter note, I’ve been without sunglasses for a week now. I sat on mine last Thursday when I was vacuuming out my truck. I do believe I sucked up two orders of “biggie” fries from the floor in the back seat alone. I took it to the carwash but I have to do a pre-vacuum before I went there. They had to run it through the car wash twice to get all the dirt off.

I believe the vehicle we drive reflects our personality, not so much the make or model but how we take care of what we have. At least for me it does and I haven’t been doing a very good job. I drive a Ford F-150 Extended Cab Pickup, Black, 4WD, running boards and a silver tool box in the back. It is very rugged and I try to keep it somewhat feminine with the floral scents and the Rosary Beads that my daughter hung on the rear view window when she was about six.

It was filthy. I couldn’t see out the back window on a sunny day as greasy fingerprints speckled the glass, the layers of tic-tac-toe games on the sides were so intricate and told such a story that it could be the next art fad in New York, the floor mats were a wad of rubber and weave beneath the seats and the carpet seemed a dull brown from the bits of mud from long crushed dirt clods. It is now clean but her once pristine panels are dulling from road grime.

I feel like I’m dulled from “road grime”. I have no focus, my vision for literary perfection fades and I am settling. I don’t know why. I’ve had more freedom than ever before. Perhaps I’m not as mature as I think I am.

My goal for today is finish Issue 36 of Blood on an Appalachian Sunset and draft Issue 37. I’m off work tomorrow and I found the perfect café to hide in a corner. I even picked up a new notebook.

I haven’t heard anything from any of my submissions. Just as well because I’m not in the frame of mind to appreciate them anyway.

BK

Abundance

In some ways I’m overflowing – story ideas come so quickly and from out of nowhere, time to write, venues and showcases for my work appear from time to time to graciously accept my work and most of all, I belong to two writer’s forums which overflow with talent and expertise.

Why can’t I take advantage of what is given to me? I didn’t write one word today. My goal was to have three issues of my serial completed by tomorrow evening and I haven’t even finished a hundred words. I waste time “playing” instead of focusing on my goals. I’m really disgusted with my lack of motivation and if there are days I’d like to give up on writing, today would be one of them. I don’t deserve this gift.

Perhaps it is the dark Carolina skies. It is a balmy 70 degrees outside, but thick blankets of gray linger just above the treetops to dampen any lively spirits. I have hope for tomorrow.

Guidance

I’ve had a revelation, which is the nice word for it. I call it more of a “slap of reality”. I’ve been submitting to “distinguished” publications when I should be finding better niches for my work. I’ve written off several publications as they don’t quite fit what I’m looking for. Ha! How many times have we, as writers, heard that one? Well, now is the time to use it to our advantage!

Over the weekend I heard from Penwomanship. They will be publishing A Day With Pepper, a short story, and The Little Girl Within, a poem, in one of their upcoming issues. I’m so happy I found a home for Pepper. I received a rejection from StorySouth for 2 of my poems. So far I have 19 outstanding submissions, 18 acceptances, and 15 rejections.

Here are my outstanding submissions:

1 poem to Skyline Magazine (submitted 8/20/2004)
1 short story to Paradox Magazine (submitted 9/16/2004)
4 poems to Drunken Boat (submitted 9/28/2004)
1 short story to Solander (submitted 10/4/2004)
1 short story to Mid-South Review (submitted 10/14/2004)
1 short story to Copperfield Review (submitted 10/20/2004)
1 short story to Wildchild Publishing (submitted 10/20/2004)
1 poem to Zygote In My Coffee (submitted 10/24/2004)
1 poem to Maelstrom (submitted 10/28/2004)
1 poem to Big Ugly Fiction (submitted 10/30/2004)
3 poems to Mid-South Review (submitted 11/15/2004)
1 poem to Evergreen Review (submitted 11/15/2004)
1 poem to NFG Magazine (submitted 12/6/04 – tenacity is a “strength” of mine!)
1 poem to Mystic River Review (submitted 12/6/2004)

I have looked everywhere for the CD, Maidens of the Celtic Harp. Many of my writer friends swear by this CD, but I cannot find it anywhere. I posted my plea on the writer’s forum and within minutes, someone volunteered to send me a copy. I believe it has been discontinued so when the copy does arrive, I’m going to make at least two more. Thanks to Michelle (Celtic Dreamer link above) for sending me this.

The internet is a gift to writers. Not only is mountains of research available with just a few keystrokes, if a writer searches hard enough they can find encouragement and honesty among writers groups. I am blessed to be a part of one of the finest. The members have so much talent, patience, and truth that I consider them lifelong friends, even though I’ve never met any of them face to face. I don’t have much support among family and friends and I rarely speak of my writing to them at all. But on the forum I blab, blab and blab some more. Funny how that works, isn’t it?

I didn’t do much writing over the weekend. Last Thursday, I did my usual jaunt of running a few errands and ending up at the Barnes and Noble perusing the shelves with my steaming cup of Starbucks (overrated in my opinion).

I always pay careful attention to the bargain priced tables and I found Irish Fairy and Folk Tales by WB Yeats. I snagged that one quickly as it is hardback and priced at $7.95. I also found the book, Tolkien’s World: Paintings of Middle Earth for $12.00. My youngest daughter took the Tolkien book and I’ve had my nose in the WB Yeats book ever since Thursday.

I need to complete Issues 36, 37, and 38 of Blood on an Appalachian Sunset by Wednesday. I want to spend Thursday and Friday on my sorely neglected novel.

BK

A Glorious Southern Morning. . . .

I wish everyone could have seen the sunrise this morning. The temperature was a warm, balmy sixty-eight degrees and the rain clouds were roaring off to the east. Dark and billowing, they swept across the morning sky contrasted only by a rogue ribbon of clear sky in the east, just above the horizon. Brilliant pinks and fiery oranges from the sun’s emerging rays rose up like a godly crown to meet the invading dark enemy encroaching from the west. It was a magnificent metaphor of good versus evil. It is times like these that I wish I had a camera on my phone.

I have a much better disposition today, having shaken off my despair over the ills of the world. I do what I can, donate to charity, give money to the church and try to live a clean wholesome life. What everyone else does is their own business unless it involves oppression and danger to others, then I just have to believe there is good in this world and good always triumphs over evil. Happy Endings – that’s why I write.

I didn’t edit much last night because countless storylines for Blood on an Appalachian Sunset spewed from my pencil with a force and fury that I hadn’t felt for a long time. I figured I better roll with it. I sat in front of a roaring fire with candles lit around me and one soft lamp glowing in the corner. Outside the rain pelted the deck with a sleepy rhythm. I love these kinds of nights. I wrote longhand from nine o’clock until midnight.

This morning, my eyes are red, my hand is cramped and my back aches a little, but inside I’m thrilled the need to write is once again, foremost in my desires.

I wrote my first rejection note as KIC Editor. I didn’t feel very good about it because I’ve been on the receiving end of rejection too many times to mention. I wrote what I thought was a constructive note, honest, and encouraging. In the business world, we call this a “shit sandwich” and I tried not to follow the recipe of good news, bad news, good news. Oh well, it is done.

I haven’t heard anything from any of my submissions. I see that as good news. I plan to get Issues 35 and 36 of Blood on an Appalachian Sunset completed and sent to the editor today. Then off to edit the rest to see how many issues I have.

BK